Dropped by the Helping Hand of Obamacare

Help! I’ve fallen through the cracks and I can’t get up!

Recently I decided I’d better sign up for Obamacare, so I telephoned my local application counselor for help. She suggested I make an appointment with her, but I had some questions first.

I started with, “Is the Website secure?”

I could hear some fancy dancing in the background. “Well, personally I’ve never had a problem.” She continued, “No Website is totally secure.”

True dat, I thought.

She added, “You can’t believe everything you hear in the media.”

True dat, too. So I continued.

“What about income requirements for a subsidy? My wife has Medicare, but I’m not yet old enough for Medicare so I’m the only one who needs health insurance. Right now I don’t have any health insurance at all.”

She said, “To qualify for a subsidy you must have an adjusted gross income above $15,210.”

I responded, “Our adjusted gross income was $4,856 last year. Does this mean I can’t get Obamacare?”

“No, you can still buy health insurance on the Marketplace. You just don’t qualify for a subsidy.”

I paused. “Without a subsidy, what will health insurance cost me per month?”

“Oh, $400-500.”

“You mean I  don’t qualify for any help?”

“Well,” she said, “You could have qualified for Medicaid, except the Montana legislature voted against an expansion of Medicaid last year. Unless they vote to expand Medicaid, I’m afraid nothing can be done.”

This brought up my last question: “I can’t afford $400-500 per month. Does this mean I’ll have to pay the fine?”

“Oh, no, sir; you won’t have to pay the fine. You’re eligible for a Hardship Exemption.”

I’m feeling a little dizzy. I think I’ll go the Emergency Room.